


I Wish...

by nijahrose



Category: girls meet world
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Heartache
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-03
Updated: 2015-12-03
Packaged: 2018-05-04 19:56:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5346644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nijahrose/pseuds/nijahrose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There were two things Riley Matthews has ever been certain of in her life.  1. She had a family who would always love her no matter what, 2.  That she was deeply in love with Lucas Friar and nothing could ever change that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Wish...

There were two things Riley Matthews has ever been certain of in her life.  1. She had a family who would always love her no matter what, 2.  That she was deeply in love with Lucas Friar and nothing could ever change that.

 

They had met when they were thirteen and Riley was a goner.  He was everything she could ever dream of.  Cute, funny, and had a heart made of gold.  Or at least that was what she thought.  Thinking back on when they were younger always made Riley feel a gut wrenching feeling of nostalgia, of heartache.  It reminded her of when she _used_ to be happy. When she had her best friend in the whole entire world, and held the hands with the boy she hoped would love her forever. When everything was right in the world.

 

But now Riley sat at her dining room table waiting for her husband to come home, a mere stranger to her now. She had poured herself a glass of whiskey wincing as it burned her throat.  She doesn’t drink, but now felt right.  She wanted to numb the pain of what was about to come. She wanted to forget this night tomorrow. 

 

She shakily sat the glass down and lightly brushed the paper that sat in front of her.  She was going to do it.  She was finally going to walk away from pain because dammit, she deserved it!  She wasn’t who she used to be, she grew stronger because there was no other choice.

 

It was now ten o’clock and he got off at seven. Riley sat waiting patiently for three hours waiting for her husband to come home.  It was nothing new.  Everytime she questioned him about it he would yell at her to get off his back and stomp upstairs and slam the bedroom door. 

 

The smell of cigerettes filled the room after she heard the front door open and close.  The loud thud of boots hitting the floor reverberated through the house and she slightly winced.  It was the beginning of the end.

 

Her husband stepped into the dining room his eyebrows furrowed in confusion at seeing his wife drinking and waiting for calmly and quietly at the table.

 

“What’s this?” He asked gruffly.

 

“You should sit down.” She said quietly, and to her surprise he did.

 

“What’s going on?” He asked, his voice firm.

 

“I want a divorce, Lucas.” Riley said getting straight to the point.  She avoided his eyes.   She knew he would be happy about this, they both would.

He could finally be free and she could finally be truly happy.  She loved him with her whole heart and would never, _could_ never, stop loving him; no matter how rough things got.

 

They needed this.

 

“No.” He said calmly looking at her.

 

She looked up confused and slightly frustrated not anticipating it would be this difficult.  “I already signed Lucas, all you have to do is sign too and it’ll all be over, you can keep your stuff, I don’t need it.” She insisted.

 

“What part of no don’t you understand, Riley!” He shouted standing up and grabbing a pack of cigerettes from his pocket.

 

It always made her sad to see him smoke because it was reminder that he wasn’t the same Lucas she fell in love with. In eleventh grade they had broken up and he began dating her then best friend, Maya Hart.  He had changed drastically when they started dating. The sweet new boy in town had changed back to the ‘texan terror.’  His temper became shorter, he resolved more of his problems with his fists than his words and he had started smoking.  He was Maya’s dream guy.

 

Long gone was the Lucas who fantasized about moving to rural community just so he could be the town vet.  Long gone was the Lucas who always held her hand when she got nervous, or always asked before he kissed her.  The Lucas that her family adored because he was always polite and was determined to be Riley’s first date.  Now there was the Lucas who swore he never wanted to be, who she never wanted him to be, because he was better than that; so much better.

 

Eventually Zay went back to Texas never looking back because he no longer had any friends he would truly miss. And Riley understood why. His best friend was gone, lost in abyss of self-rightousness and lost identity and he could no longer stand to look at the girl who had pushed his best friend to fall into oblivion, Maya.

Farkle had graduated early and moved to Boston with Smackle.  And Riley was far too miserable trying to make others happy he couldn’t stick around.

“I can’t be with you anymore Lucas!” She shouted getting upset. “It’s not healthy! Real people are supposed to be like this! I’m not Maya, I don’t like this side of you!”

He gave her a cold and icy glare before shoving his cigarette in an ash tray. “Your damn right!  She wouldn’t come to me with something as stupid as a fucking divorce.  What the hell is wrong with you Riley, huh?! Is it Charlie? Are you sneaking behind my back with that bastard?” He snarled.

“Lucas.” She said heartbroken at the accusation.

“Is that why you’re trying to divorce so you can go to him?  Fuck you if you think that’ll ever happen.” He grumbled pacing.

Riley took a deep breath before looking to her sweetheart, the man she’d always foolishly love.  “How could you say that Lucas?! I want a divorce because I can’t stand you!  You always come home late, pick fights, your not who you used to be! I-I can’t take it.”

 “Screw you! We’re not getting a damn divorce, get that through your thick skull!” He shouted.

“Have you even truly loved me Lucas!” She asked. She needed to know.

“I don’t know.” He shouted yet she could still hear the sincerity in his words, that’s all she needed to know.

She stopped for a moment and looked down, tears falling onto the paper on the table.

“Riley.” She heard him say quietly stepping closer to her.

She moved her shoulder as she reached to touch it.

 “I love you, Riley.  I always have and I always will.” He said his voice hopeless.

Riley just nodded before grabbing her keys and leaving. He didn’t come after her.

Riley went to Auggie’s house. He was twenty now and went by August. He was living off campus with a roommate who was out for the weekend.

She couldn’t go home because her parents would try to comfort her, make everything alright, but everything wasn’t alright and it could never be.

Auggie had made her hot chocolate and let her sleep in his bed.

He’d go to school and she’d cry before putting on a romantic movie, ranging from When in Rome to the Titanic, then she would cry more and eventually throw up.

When did her life go to hell? Why couldn’t she have a happy ending?

Her and Auggie’s routine went on for two weeks and she was getting exhausted from crying and Auggie was getting exhausted from watching her cry.

Auggie and his roommate went to Deleware for a class trip for the rest of the week and he was reluctant to leave her, but insisted he went.  She was going to find an apartment and eventually get Lucas to sign the papers (if he hadn’t already) and try her hardest to get over him.

As she made herself something to eat in Auggie’s kitchen she heard a knock on the door.  She quickly went to answer it assuming it was Auggie or his roommate who may have left a key but to her surprise it was Maya.

The two girls hadn’t talked in years.

How did she know where to find her?

But what made Riley curious the most was the somber expression on her old friend’s face.

“Maya?” She said staring curiously at the girl.

“Lucas is dead, Riley.” Maya said getting straight to the point.

Riley’s heart dropped.  What kind of cruel sick joke was she playing?

“Your lying.” Riley accused beginning to panic. He couldn’t be dead.  That was impossible.

Maya sniffled before taking a deep breath. “They found his body two days ago. The autopsy says it was from alcohol poisoning.” Maya started by Riley cut her off with a strangled cry.

“He doesn’t even drink, Maya. Why are you lying to me?”

“Well apparently he does- did. He hadn’t eaten in about twelve days, he was really boney Riley, he died with tears in his eyes. I-I don’t know why but- but.” Maya tried to talk but grief overtook her like it overtook Riley.

Her first kiss, her first date, her first love ( her only love) her first heartbreak was dead and it was her fault.

 

“Lucas! Lucas!” Riley called out walking into her house.

She sighed, Lucas was always getting into trouble. She couldn’t even check the mail anymore he was so out of control.

Suddenly a head of blond her came into her line of vision and she grinned.  “Come here you!”

He just giggle before running into the living room, her chasing after him.  When she finally caught up to him she picked him up and tickled him. “Time for bed, you have school tomorrow,” She said putting him down.

Lucas crossed his arms and pouted, “I don’t wanna mommy.”

“Lucas Friar Jr, you have to go to sleep” she insisted.

“Fine” The six year old said before making his way upstairs.

Riley sighed before flopping down on the couch. Being a single mother was tough but worth it.  She had found out she was pregnant the day after Lucas’s funeral and to say she was even more heartbroken was an understatement.  But she was finally happy.  Lucas Friar makes her happy. Her little boy is her pride and joy and she was glad to have him because if she didn’t, she probably wouldn’t be here right now.  She probably would have been in a ditch next to Lucas’.

Riley looked over to see a picture of her and Lucas on their wedding day.  Her head was on his shoulder as she stared lovingly at him, and he was looking at the camera. His green eyes were shining bright with ‘pure joy’, as he used to say.

Zay had taken the picture and Maya stood near Riley smiling happily.

The picture next to it had her and Lucas Jr. at the park with ice cream cones.  Riley grinned at the camera while Lucas gave a wide smile showing his missing top two teeth.

Riley reached over to stroke her husband’s face and gave a sad grin. “I wish you two could have met.”

She wished she could tell him she loved him one more time.


End file.
